whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
