You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
