Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
