Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
