I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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