I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
