i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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