i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize