tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
