I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
