it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
