piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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