Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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