I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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