For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
