id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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