So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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