The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
there is puke in my bra ... again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
