apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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