Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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