I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
