Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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