is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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