I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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