he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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