i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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