my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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