the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
