but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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