I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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