Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
