The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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