when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
