Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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