She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
