He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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