well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
