Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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