I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
