im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
