That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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