Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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