All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
