You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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