i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
