hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
