They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
