Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
