you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Everyone says I win the strip club
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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