yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
