I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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