He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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