i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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