did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
