two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
